


Half-Baked Ideas

by SordidFood



Series: Ben/James Series [3]
Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Confrontations, Drunken sex, Hate Sex, M/M, Rimming, drunk texts, frenemies to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23896834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SordidFood/pseuds/SordidFood
Summary: James is an idiot. A complete Fucking Idiot.Of all the stupid, half-cocked ideas he could’ve followed through on, the worst had to be hooking up with Ben Ebbrell.... And he's about to do it again.
Relationships: James Currie/Ben Ebbrell
Series: Ben/James Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553236
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68





	Half-Baked Ideas

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the Sorted Discord (The Fun One™) for letting me bounce ideas around and encouraging me in this.

James is an idiot. A complete  _ Fucking  _ Idiot. 

Of all the stupid, half-cocked ideas he could’ve followed through on, the worst had to be hooking up with Ben Ebbrell. 

The first time it had happened, it had been a mistake, and Ben’s fault to boot. He’s the one who’d started the argument, trying to shame James over flirting with Mike (as if Jamie isn’t flirting with everyone all the time), then trying to get into some kind of fight with James (laughable), and then… kissing him. 

It was hot, alright? Really, really, stupidly hot. And that’s why James is an idiot.

Because one mistake is just that- a mistake. James could’ve learned his lesson and moved on and left Ben alone and not let his frustration, sexual or otherwise, get in the way of doing his job. He could’ve handled it like an adult. Instead, he handled it like an idiot again.

James let his irritation simmer until it bubbled up into snide remarks and barbs, all of which were directed at Ben. James didn’t even really know why he kept pushing Ben, except the memory of that first night and the way Ben’s jaw flexed when he grit his teeth and the heat in his stare… 

James hadn’t stopped thinking about it. He could barely stand near Ben because even just the scent of his laundry soap and deodorant left him half hard. 

James can admit the second time was his fault, but did Ben have to pull him into the equipment room like that? They were so close and Ben was glaring at him in a way that did things to him. James wasn’t thinking of anything when he got on his knees for Ben, just the deep desire to put more cracks in Ben Ebbrell’s carefully constructed composure. 

James is also an idiot for letting it continue. 

It had only happened a few times since- usually preceded by Ben trying to maintain situation normal and James growing more and more sour with Ben not acknowledging him. He knows when he’s acting like a brat pulling the hair of his crush, but what else should he do? Walk up to Ben in front of everyone and say “I rather like you. Want to go out?” 

He would rather die. 

James sighs and pinches between his brows, eyes aching from staring too long at the computer screen in front of him. He needs a cigarette badly, but is trying to quit for the millionth time. The studio around him bustles with life, despite the skeleton crew. Mike sets up the camera rig while Jamie chatters on the phone, pacing back and forth like a caged tiger. Tittering laughter rises through the air and James turns to where Barry has his camera pointed toward the dish that Ben is currently plating up for social media. Ben’s smile is warm, his eyes crinkled at the corners, laughing at some comment that Barry made. He looks… lovely.

James wishes he could make Ben smile like that. It feels like he only ever gets scowls or smirks or the occasional eye roll from instead. 

“James,”Jamie taps him on the shoulder. “C’mon, we’re filming soon.”

“What’s it this time?” he asks, rising from the desk. 

“Curated food gift kits,” Mike says. “We’ve got some good ones in store.” James pulls his chef jacket off the back of the chair and slips it on, still watching Ben and Barry out of his peripheral vision. He can already feel the sour burn of jealousy in the back of his throat, as if he’d ever be jealous of Barry. 

“James” Ben says coolly as they take their places in the mock up kitchen. “How’s your day going?” 

“Fine,” James replies, trying not to sound clipped. They stand together in awkward silence, watching Mike set up the camera rig and Barry and Jamie get into position at the side. 

“Do you have plans this weekend?” Ben asks. James glances down at him.

“Uh… no,” he replies. “Just at home. Probably will clean my flat.” Another long pause before James continues. “I’m guessing you have plans.”

“Oh, um, yes, I do,” Ben says. “Going to a show tonight?” 

“Oh? With friends?”

“A friend, yes?” James glances at him, eyes narrowed. 

“Dinner as well?” he asks. Ben looks up over the top of his glasses in James’s direction. 

“Possibly.” Ben says coolly. “More likely just going for drinks afterward.” James can already feel his hackles rising at the image of Ben out at some upscale bar with some guy, flirting over cocktails as they gush about the show they just saw. 

“Hmm,” James replies, focusing his attention back on the camera. “Well, watch how many you have. God, knows you have a tendency to run your mouth when you’re not sober.” He can see Ben’s aghast expression out of the corner of his eye, and James would feel ashamed of the insult, but Mike cues them to begin. 

If Ben was thrown off-kilter by the remark, it doesn’t show on camera. Years of rolling with Mike, Barry, and Jamie’s constant harassment has made him a pro at staying focused. Ben doesn’t hesitate or stutter or mumble… unlike James, who has struggled with his shyness and a slight speech impediment since he was a child. Ben is just as geeky and odd as James ever was in his teens and early 20s and yet, unlike James, Ben has never tried or pretended to be someone different. James has spent the last decade turning himself into what he thought people wanted, and yet, Ben can just be himself and be just as happy. 

Maybe that’s why James can’t just admit his feelings for Ben- because it would be one more goddamn thing that Ben is better than him at. No matter what James does, no matter how hard he works, Ben will always be above him. 

Perhaps that’s why it’s so fun to watch him fall apart under James’s touch. All of Ben’s perfect composure flies out the window as soon as James is sucking him off. 

James smiles to himself as Jamie cues him to lift the cloche on the first gadget. 

They go through four or five gadgets and finish up in under an hour. Ben makes a few utterly dumb jokes that has James rolling his eyes even as he has to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back his own chuckle. He’s all smiles and “On” for the camera, but as soon as Mike yells “cut”, the smile drops from Ben’s face and he brushes by James, returning to his work station. 

“Is Ebbers alright?” James overhears Jamie say to Mike. Mike glances at James for half a second, his expression more than a bit disapproving. 

“No idea,” Mike says, returning his attention to Jamie. “He’s probably fine.” Mike begins to dismantle the camera rig as Barry and Jamie walk off, deep in discussion. James’s gaze flicks over too where Ben sits, shoulders hunched as he scans his laptop. 

“Um, Ben, hey,” James says, “Is everything ok?” He expects a tired sigh and some comment about his work load. 

What he gets instead is a clipped “Fine.”

“You seemed a bit tense near the end there,” James says. “Are you sure-?”

“What do you want, James?” Ben snaps. James isn’t used to this reaction from Ben- annoyed, harsh, snippy.

“I was just wondering-”

“Can you just stop this?” Ben huffs. A few heads around the studio raise at the outburst and Ben’s nostrils flare in annoyance. He rises to his feet and starts walking to the door of the studio and the smoking area. Despite not being asked to, James follows. 

As soon as they are outside, Ben turns on his heel.

“You need to stop.” Ben says, pinching the bridge of his nose. James’s brow draws down into a ‘V’.

“Stop what?”

“Don’t act so stupid,” Ben hisses. “I’m getting whiplash from the constant up and down with you. You act alright, then you act like an arse, and then you pull me into some secluded spot and… and…” His hands flail in front of him, frustrated. 

“Wank you off?”

“Or blow me!” Ben blurts out. “I don’t know one day from the other which James I’ll run into. Will it be normal James or the horny prick? Dr. Jeckyll of Mr Hyde?” James swallows hard, Ben’s words hitting their marks.

“Ben, I don’t-”

“No, no, this has to stop!” Ben holds up his hands, shaking his head. “For one thing, it’s not professional-” 

“Oh, as if professionalism is a thing here,” James scoffs.

“Enough!” Ben shouts. “Stop acting like such an arse when I know you’re not! It’s not attractive. It’s a real turn off and I don’t want it.” Before James can speak in his defense, Ben storms off back into the studio, leaving James alone on the patio. James’s hands are shaking, but not from the cold. The weight of Ben’s words feel like a physical blow. 

Is that how he feels? Has he really been this bad all this time?

James taps at his pockets, searching for a cigarette that isn’t there. Though the large plate glass windows, he knows people are staring at him and his face is already flushing crimson. A sick feeling settles into his stomach. 

_ Fuck. _

* * *

When he steps back into the studio, Ben is gone. Barry says something about Ben getting ready for his date and the bitter, sinking feeling in James’s stomach grows even more. He makes it through the rest of the day, throwing himself into book proofs and edits, and pointedly trying not to think about Ben. He passes on an invite from some of the others to join them at the pub after work, saying he doesn’t feel well (half-truth, but still). 

His head still feels muddled the whole tube ride home. Has he really been that bad with Ben? That much of an twat? Surely not. They all stitch each other up throughout the day, that’s just the way they behave. James hasn’t acted any differently than Jamie or Mike or Baz. 

Only James isn’t smiling and winking when he says what he says. He’s not pulling the Pinnochio nose and implying that it’s not serious. James has always had a knack for uncovering insecurity and exploiting it, a defense mechanism he developed in his own bullied youth. 

The sun is fully set by the time he exits the tube station with the street lamps casting everything in a soft yellowish glow. He makes a stop at his favorite takeaway for dinner (his desire to cook completely gone) and at the shop to grab a bottle of scotch. He weaves between the hipsters pouring out of the bars, a hazard of living in a “trendy” neighborhood. He wonders if maybe Ben and his date are at one of these places, and that thought alone causes James’s appetite to completely evaporate.

By the time he’s through his front door, his mood is at the lowest it’s been all day. He places his unopened food in the fridge, and turns his attention to the scotch. He downs a draught in one shot and the alcohol immediately has him feeling lightheaded. James only just realizes he hasn’t eaten since just after noon. He pours a second glass and settles onto his couch, flipping on the TV. 

He nurses his drink and pretends to watch whatever program happens to be on. Ben’s words keep repeating in his brain- _ Stop acting like such an arse when I know you’re not! _ Self-reflection has never been James’s strong suit. It’s always been easier to assume that, in a disagreement, he’s in the right. And normally he is, but… he has been a bit of an arse hasn’t he? 

_ “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” _ is what Ben had called him.

He’s been going out of his way for months to rile Ben up in particular. Not Jamie or Mike or Barry… Just Ben. Because Ben is so fun to rile- his nostrils flair and cheeks go pink and his jaw tightens in such a sexy way. It’s such a contrast, it’s hard to believe it’s the same Ben. Ben is such an affable, friendly guy. Seeing the shift from that to a guy who pulls James into a closet and kisses with such fury and then demands James suck him off… it’s incredible. 

_ Now, who’s Mr Hyde, _ James thinks with a smirk.

Still, he owes Ben an apology. James drains his drink and heads to the kitchen to refill it. The clock on the oven says 7:45. He pours himself another and drains it while standing at the counter, trying to muscle the courage to swallow his pride. He could just send a text with a quick apology, but that seems even more cold and thoughtless than not apologizing at all. A call would be better or meeting in person. James licks the alcohol from his lips and tries to remember what time Ben said his show was.  _ His date _ , James thinks sullenly. James wouldn’t mind interrupting that, then he could really get a feel for if Ben was into this guy or not. 

He glances at his phone on the counter, idling fiddling with the neck of the scotch bottle. He pours more into a glass and grabs his phone, heading back to the couch. 

_ “Hey can you call when you have a chance?” _ James texts. Perfect. Just innocuous enough not to put pressure on Ben but still has a slight sense of urgency. 

And now he waits. 

* * *

Two hours later, James feels warm with the scotch as scrubs along the backsplash of his kitchen, anything to keep him distracted. Ben hasn’t called or text and James feels agitated. Part of him (a small, unreasonable part) considers maybe hopping in an Uber and heading down toward the West End, but he has no idea what show Ben was seeing.

Why didn’t he ask that? Why doesn’t he ever show interest in Ben? God, he is  _ such _ a twat!

James grunts low in his throat as he scrubs hard enough to take the enamel off the tiles. Ben probably isn’t even at the show anymore. He and that guy have probably already stopped at the bar and are sharing a bottle of wine. Ben is probably flushed with the excitement of the show and the wine and if the guy asks him to come over he’d-

The chirp of James’s phone causes him to jump and drop the sponge he was using onto the tile. He scrambles to grab his phone; It’s Ben. James smiles brightly, but it falls as soon as he reads the message.

_ “Can’t talk right now. Can it wait until tomorrow?”  _ Tomorrow? No, he has to do this tonight, properly. What could be so bloody important that Ben can’t take a call? James slides open the message and taps Ben’s name, calling him. It rings twice before it picks up. 

“Hello?” Ben says. There’s noise in the background- cars, sirens, wind. Is Ben on the street?

“Uh, Ben, hi,” James says, jumping to his feet and feeling a little lightheaded as he does. “Um.. How are you?” 

“James, is something the matter?” Ben sounds concerned and James can almost see his expression - dark brows drawn together, pinching his still-boyish features. 

“Um, uh, yeah,” James paces back and forth in his living room. “I wanted to talk.. To you, I mean.”

“About what?” Ben sounds agitated. “Can’t this wait?”

“Are you still on your date?” James asks.

“It wasn’t a date,” James perks up a bit at ‘wasn’t.’ “Look, James, I’m tired. It’s cold. I really just want to get to bed before-”

“Why don’t you come over?” James blurts out. There’s a pause on the other end and an ambulance horn blares near Ben. 

“What?”

“Come over, I… I want to apologize.” James pinches at the bridge of his nose and blows out a breath. “For today. For the last few days, actually. My attitude-”

“It’s been months, James,” Ben interjects coolly. “And you suddenly want to apologize for the constant badgering and snide remarks?” 

“I’ve been awful, I know.”

“You’ve been a cunt,” Ben snaps, startling James. Ben rarely swears and even when he does, it might be a ‘damn’ or a ‘bastard.’ “I’m really not in the mood for more insults and passive aggression-”

“I promise, I really want to apologize,” James insists. He leans his forehead against the bare wall. “Please, come over so I can.” His words are a little thick in his mouth. “He hopes he doesn’t sound too drunk. “I mean… unless your date-”

“Dammit, James, it was not a date!” Ben hisses. “Peter got an emergency work call and had to leave before the second act. I’m just… I’m heading home.” James hears the thread of resignation in Ben’s voice. It’s a tone he recognizes, one he knows he’s caused before. James is at once filled with shame and irritated at this man Peter for just ditching Ben. 

“Come over,” James says again, less desperate this time. “You’re already in the city. Grab an Uber and-”

“James, I already told you- this needs to end.” Ben says, cutting him off. “I hate this… cycle we’re caught it where you’re a prick until we’re alone-”

“Do I sound like a prick now?” James asks, half teasing and half genuinely curious. He sinks to the floor and leans up against the wall. Ben sighs heavily and James can picture him rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. 

“No, you’re drunk and horny and somehow that’s worse.” James frowns; Ben certainly has him pegged, doesn’t he?

But that really wasn’t a no, was it?

“Look, I really do want to apologize,” James says. “Come over. Please… I promise I’ll make it up to you.” James runs a hand over his groin, already half hard at the thought of Ben in his bed. There’s another long pause on the other end of the line. “C’mon, Ben.” James may not know every detail about Ben, but he can sense his resolve melting like semifreddo in the sun. 

“Text me your address,” Ben finally says and James can’t control his grin. He shoots a quick text off to Ben.

“I’ll see you in a few then?” James asks, getting to his feet once more and steadying himself on the wall. 

“Sure,” Ben says, warily. They bid goodbye and hang up. James can’t help the little zing of arousal that zips through him. His apartment is already mostly tidy (thanks in part to the frantic cleaning he did while waiting for Ben’s text), but he heads to his bedroom to straighten up the sheets and take a shower. 

* * *

Ben texts about 15 minutes later  _ “I’m downstairs.” _ James hits the buzzer to let him into his flat and waits with quiet anticipation until there is a knock on his door. He opens it and Ben steps into the entryway, dressed in a dark wool coat and a button down. His hair is a little windswept and mussed and James has to resist reaching out and running his hands through it. 

“Hi,” Ben says. He looks annoyed. 

“Um, would you like a drink?” James asks. 

“I’m fine,” Ben says, shucking off his coat and dropping it onto a nearby chair. He crosses his arms and looks up at James expectantly. What does Ben want him to say? 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. It’s so weak but it was the first thing James could think to say. Ben gives him an absolute withering look in reply, shaking his head.

“Oh, shut up, James,” he mutters as he reaches a hand up to James’s head and drags him in for a kiss. James inhales in surprise and then responds, kissing Ben back while holding him by the shoulders. It’s different from their other kisses, slower and less frantic, but still as intense, with Ben plunging his tongue into James’s mouth. Just as suddenly, Ben pulls back from the kiss and pushes James toward the wall.

“Is this what you wanted?” He mutters. “You want me angry? Want to spin me up and fuck you out of frustration?” Ben’s cheeks are pink and his eyes are wild and all James can do is nod. 

Yeah, that’s what he wants. He just wants Ben. 

James launches forward this time, kissing Ben deeply as he wraps his arms around him. Ben fights for a moment, but he’s kissing James with as much passion as before. James spins them around so he can press Ben against the wall this time. He pulls at the edge of Ben’s shirt, pulling it out from where it’s tucked into his trousers. Ben’s skin is so warm as James slips a hand up his back. He wants Ben bare. He wants to lick over every inch and see what sounds he makes. Ben pushes him back once more, gasping for air. 

“How was the show?” James asks, apropos of nothing. Ben rolls his eyes. 

“Shut the fuck up and take me to bed, James.” James grabs his hand and leads him down the hall toward his room. He tugs Ben inside, kissing him swiftly before pushing him toward the bed, the back of his legs hit the footboard and he bounces down onto the mattress. 

James strips off his t-shirt and he appreciates the slight widening of Ben’s eyes as he gets a full view of James’s physique. 

“Don’t be so cocky,” Ben snarks. James smiles and walks forward, pressing Ben down onto the bed. 

“I want you naked,” He says in his most seductive voice. 

“You didn’t really give me a chance to get undressed, did you?” Ben says. Even at a moment like this, Ben always has a some sly comment. James reaches for Ben’s collar with both hands.”I swear, James, if you tear off one button, you are buying me a new shirt.” James tilts his head and gives Ben a sweet kiss as he slowly works open one button and then another. 

James is a patient fellow, so very patient, and for once he has something over Ben. By the third button, Ben is wriggling under him, hips shifting and moving against where James’s thigh rests between Ben’s legs.

“James, hurry up.” Ben mumbles. 

James hums against his neck.“You wanted me to be careful.” 

Ben makes an annoyed noise in his throat and mutters something that sounds like  _ “I’ll do it.” _ knocking James’s hands out of the way so he can undo his own shirt. James stands and slides off his joggers and boxer briefs. 

“Seems like you’re more worked up than usual,” James says. “Peter leave you unsatisfied?” Ben sits up, brows furrowed, as he strips off his button down and undershirt.

“Can you  _ not _ mention my failed date?”

“Ah, so it was a date.” James points out.

“Of course it was,” Ben huffs, undoing his trousers and kicking them off. “Are you going to fuck me or not?” James’s mouth goes a bit dry. Something about Ben being bossy and asking if James is going to fuck him so rudely does it for him. He steps toward the edge of the bed and grabs the band of Ben’s underwear and tugs them down. By now, James has seen Ben’s cock numerous times, but this time he can really take look at it. He’s smaller than average, but still a bit thick ( _ much like Ben himself, _ James thinks wryly), uncut with a tuft of trimmed dark hair at the base. All in all, it’s a very pretty cock, James thinks, leaning forward and taking Ben in his mouth. 

Ben lets out a happy little sigh and sinks into the mattress. James can feel the muscles of Ben’s thighs relaxing beneath his hands. He moves up and down the shaft, eyes staying locked on Ben, watching the way his shoulders and jaw flex every time James flattens his tongue along the underside.

James presses Ben’s thighs open further and moves lower. With the first lap of a tongue over his hole, Ben cries out. 

“Oh Hell!” The remark makes James smile and only increases his demands. He laps at his hole greedily, enjoying Ben’s keening whines. Narrowing his tongue, he pushes against the soft ring of muscle.

“Jesus, James,” Ben moans, spreading his legs wider. James inserts a finger along with his tongue, stretching Ben out. It’s quite an effort, because every new action causes an equal and unexpected reaction from Ben. He bucks and writhes and has James pressing down his hips with his forearm to keep from getting kicked in the head. 

“You are going to be one hell of a fuck,” James chuckles, coming up for air. Ben sits up on an elbow. 

“You sound surprised.” He raises an eyebrow. “I should be offended.” James crawls up over Ben’s body until they are face-to-face and kisses him once more.

“You’re full of surprises,” James says with a shrug. He pauses momentarily, cursing himself that he hadn’t already set out the condom and lube before Ben’s arrival.

“You know, a good chef always has his mise en place ready,,” Ben comments, watching him with an amused smirk as he rolls on the condom and slicks up his cock. James shoots him an annoyed look. “I’m just saying, James.” James gives a frustrated sigh and pushes at Ben’s shoulder. 

“On your stomach,” he says and, after a moment of thought, adds.”Is that ok?” Ben shrugs and flips over onto his belly. 

“You’re the boss,” he says with as much sincerity that tells James that isn’t really true. At this point, James doesn’t have the will or urge to argue, because Ben Ebbrell’s lovely, peachy arse is staring up at him, his thighs spread out on each side. James crawls over him, planting a kiss on Ben’s shoulder as he positions himself at Ben’s entrance. He takes one last opportunity to add extra lube to Ben’s hole and then presses forward. 

Ben inhales sharply as James starts to slide in, pausing intermittently to let him adjust. 

“For fuck’s sake, James, I’ve had bigger. Just fuck me!” Ben snaps, but from the way his breath gets shaky at each push in, James can tell he’s acting a whole lot tougher than he is. 

James takes his time, sliding into Ben little by little, adding more lube as needed. Ben fusses and presses himself back onto James’s dick, trying to hurry his efforts. 

“Stop it,” James reprimands with a light slap on Ben’s bum. Ben turns and gives him a filthy look, but James responds with a kiss between his shoulders. “There’s no need to rush.” By the time James has bottomed out, there’s a light sheen of sweat across Ben’s back. James plants his knees between Ben’s thighs and grips his hips, finally starting to thrust. Ben makes a low moan in his throat and arches his arse up further. James lets himself get lost in the rhythm, already closing in on his orgasm even as they’ve just begun. 

“God, yes, right there! Fuck! Harder please!” Ben cries out. James wants to make some remark, but all that comes out is a groan as he drives harder into Ben.

He did say please, afterall?

James falls forward, hands on either side of Ben’s rib cage, blanketing him. He drags his teeth along the nape of Ben’s neck. 

“Feel so fucking good,” he mutters as he rocks into Ben. He’s already so close, but he wants Ben there as well. James reaches a hand under him, taking hold of Ben’s shaft, stroking in time with his movement. 

“O-o-oh, Fuck!” Ben chokes out, He collapses face first onto the bed, moans muffled by James’ pillow. James feels Ben tense and tighten around him as he comes, spending over James’s fist. James lets go of all restraint as he pistons into Ben, finally coming with a low groan. His arms finally give out and he collapses on top of Ben.

They lay in silence for a moment. James can feel the rise and fall of Ben’s breathing beneath him before there’s a shift of muscles.

“Um.. Could you…?” Ben asks, pushing up onto his hands and knees. James moves off the bed and deposits the condom in the bin. Ben flips over onto his back and rubs at his eyes. For the first time, James notices that Ben had taken the care to remove his glasses and place them on the side table. James rarely sees Ben without his glasses, he seems to wear them like some sort of armour.  _ As long as I have these on, I am the authority _ . Without them though, Ben looks… Younger? Smaller? Tired? Ben picks up his glasses and puts them on. 

“I should go.” He mutters, swinging his legs off the bed. 

“Why?” James asks. Ben glances up, giving James a look of confusion. James continues. “It’s nearly 11. You have an hour plus commute home. Just… stay.” James hopes he doesn’t sound pleading or desparate. God knows, he has his pride, but really it only makes sense for Ben to stay the night. Ben’s face looks even more doubtful, his frown deepening. 

“James, this isn’t-”

“Please stay.” He says plainly. He’s still a little drunk and is not in the mood for head games. “Don’t fight me on this. Just fucking stay the night.” Ben’s expression softens and he sighs. 

“Do you have something I can wear?” he asks, eyes not meeting James’s. “Something that’ll fit, I mean.” James searches his chest of drawers and comes out with a pair of cotton shorts and a tshirt, both of which swim on Ben and make him look even smaller, much to James’s amusement. He scrounges up a new toothbrush and leaves Ben to get freshened up while he gets ready for Bed. 

Ben emerges from the en suite a few minutes later smelling of mint and James’s fabric softener. In spite of just coming, the image and scent combined cause a rush of arousal to run through James. He clicks off the bedside lamp, leaving the room bathed in ambient light from the street below. Ben once more places his glasses on the side table, pulls back the duvet, and slips into bed, curling as close to the edge of the mattress as possible. 

“What are you doing?” James snorts, tugging at the edge of Ben’s shirt and pulling him toward him. 

“I’m going to sleep- What are you doing?” Ben snipes as James pulls him under his arms. “James, I’m not going to be able-” Ben yawns heavily. “-Able to sleep like this.”

“Right,” James replies dryly. Ben relaxes into James’s hold, arm going across his middle. He lets out a resigned sigh. 

“What the hell are we doing?” he asks after a moment. James looks down, Ben’s lovely brown eyes looking so much larger in the dark. 

“Sleeping?”

“No, I mean… What  _ is  _ this, James?” Ben asks. It’s something James has wondered for months, ever since that first kiss, that first moment when Ben made his interest known ( _ was it even interest? Perhaps just boredom or a game? _ James had wondered at times). James scrubs a hand down his face, his buzz already slipping away to the ache of a mild hangover. 

“I have no fucking clue,” He answers. He expects Ben to argue a point or at least initiate a conversation, but he just draws closer to James, “I really don’t know, Ben.” 


End file.
